And so the tale begins... there once lived a legendary orchestra in Sweden that produced music so beautiful and virtuosic that it inspired the formation of an early equivalent of groupies-- hordes of followers who trekked across Scandinavia to indulge in the divine melodies and harmonies played by what would later be known as "the Devil's Orchestra."
The year is 1501. The Church makes it rain more than Fat Joe himself. As generations passed, the Church became increasingly pissed (and rich.) Despite the Church's global influence via continuous funding through gifts and control over real estate, the orchestra had a way of striking a chord with the people and gave them an alternative outlet that did not directly involve religion. Consequently, the Church fire-and-brimstoned the shit out of the sixteenth century Swedes and labeled the enormously popular orchestra as the spawn of Satan. Forced to live and travel as fugitives, the orchestra eventually realized that its career was coming to an end... but before disassembling, the sextet signed a pact, agreeing that their descendants had the mission of reviving the orchestra in 500 years. They disseminated six sealed envelopes to trusted family members and played one final concert. Upon ending their epic grand finale, the members of the orchestra were arrested, incarcerated, and sentenced to death by hanging.
Flash forward to the year 2003. The reign of Britney Spears is coming to an end and iPods are about to get huge. Two complete strangers individually browse through a music store in Stockholm and bump into each other, prompting a conversation about about instruments, music, and life...until [imagine a pathetic explosion of thunder] they realize that they are both descendants of two of the original members of the Devil's Orchestra. Having each inherited the responsibility of reuniting the Devil's Orchestra, they embarked on a mission to find the remaining successors-- a goal they accomplished within three months of hard searching. Coincidentally, each successor happened to play music.
As the original scores were permanently destroyed by the Church, the descendants agreed to create a modern, rock version of the original orchestra. The sound would be a unique, but relatable combination of metal, swing, and opera. With a drummer, guitars, bass, and a celloist handy, the band recruited a talented female opera vocalist to front the group. Their lineup, and hence, their mission was finally complete. And so, Diablo Swing Orchestra was born... [imagine some more pathetic fallacy here... only this time, in the form of DSO's original "Balrog Boogie"]
Help Diablo Swing Orchestra take the world by storm again-- buy their album "The Butcher's Ballroom."
[Author's Note: Doesn't DSO kind of sound like the Max Rebo Band in Star Wars?!]
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